This weekend before finals is nothing but hectic. Final exam in JOSERIZ on Thursday, 6 essays for PHILIEN (All more than 500 words each, by the way), A defense for BASICOM, and my final FREHAND plate. (See work below)
We had to draw a scene from anything. I decided to sketch a photograph by one of my idols, Mecuro B Cotto, and I'm quite proud of it. It's much better up close though. What I uploaded here is just a mere webcam photo of it to show you my work. So, what do you think?
Okay, anyway, aside from all that. I wanted to share something with you guys.
About two weeks ago, I got the most unusual thing in my mail. It's completely in Tagalog, so I'll translate everything for you. (I'm really no good at Tagalog either, but it's better than nothing. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) I won't reveal the sender of this e-mail for privacy reasons, so let's call her "Jane".
Jane has been sending me messages on Facebook for as long as I can remember. Occasionally praising me and my work and sometimes just to greet me when it's a holiday. I don't regularly check my e-mail, but Jane sent me a message on facebook asking if I had gotten hers.
And much to my surprise, I get this from her. Trust me, reading it really early in the morning definitely woke me up. I don't even know how she got a hold of my e-mail address, especially because I haven't accepted her friend requests. Anyway, here goes...
Jane writes,
hi maam inez i am JANE, rmmber? i have a confession to make and hope you'll forgive me.. may kasalanan ako sayo na alam kong hindi mo ko mapapatawad pero bago po sana ikaw magalit sakin basahin niyo to ng maigi. naging POSER niyo ko. pero magpapaliwanag po ako kong bakit ko nagawa yun maam. nung una ko nakita profile niyo sa myspace sobrang na amaze talga ko sa mga artwork niyo. idol ko talga kayo ng sobra maam.. wala po talga kong balak gawin yun pero KAPIT NA KO SA PATALIM, sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa isang lalaki kaya ko nagawa yun lahat2. MATABA kasi ako maam, lage nalang akong nirereject ng mga lalaking gusto ko, minsan kunware nakikipag relasyon sila sakin pero piniperahan lang nila ko. dahil sa sobrang desperada nako kahit ganun ginagawa nila sakin ok nalng ako kasi dahil nga sa pisikal kong appearance mahirap ng makahanap ng lalaking seseryoso sakin. |
Basically, Jane starts of this letter by saying that she has done something wrong against me and knows I probably won't forgive her, but I really ought to hear her out before getting angry. She then further explains that she has been my poser. When she first saw my profile on Myspace she was "amazed" by my artwork. She says I am her Idol. (It feels weird writing all of this) She says she didn't mean to do it, but because she loved this one guy, she did. She then further explains that she is fat and is always rejected by guys that she likes. Sometimes they just use her for her money. Because she is so desperate, she was okay with all of that because she knew her physical appearance made it hard for guys to take her seriously.
araw araw kinakabig ako ng konsensya ko kasi nang gagamit ako ng MUKA para lang mahalin ng iba.at nakokonsesya din ako na sobrang kawawa na yung lalake, umaasa siya na ikaw talga yung kausap niya araw araw.
pero dahil po dun sa ginawa ko nayun naging masaya po ako kasi dun ko naramdaman na may nagmahal sakin, may nagseryoso sakin kahit sa phone lang. pero alam ko sa sarili ko na maling mali talga yun. sa sobrang takot ko na mareject ako ulit nagawa ko po yun.
hindi ko po talga intensyon na gawin yun maam. sana po mapatawad niyo ko. inamin ko na po sa kanya ang lahat lahat na hindi po ako yung nasa pic. sobrang sakit po sakin na nawala po siya. pero i have to face the truth na hindi po talga habang buhay pwede akong magpanggap. natapos po yung relasyon namin nung FEBRUARY 24.2009. Naging kami po sa phone nung FEBRUARY 24, 2007. yes maam ganun po katagl ang naging relasyon namin sa phone. Lahat na ata ng rason sa mundo binigay ko na kanya na kung bakit di kami pwede magkita.ayun po..
Maam sobra kong pinapanalangin na sana maging ako ikaw kahit isang araw lang para mapatunayan ko lang sa kanya na totoo lahat yung samin, pero sa palabas lang nangyayare yun. |
Everyday, her conscience would bother her that she was using a face just so someone else could love her, and she would feel bad for the guy cause he would believe they was really talking to me instead of her. Because of everything she did, she was still happy because she actually felt that someone loved her and that he was serious with her, even if it was just over the phone. She knew what she did was completely wrong, but she did it because she was so scared of rejection.
She then says that she has admitted everything, that she wasn't the girl in the photos. It hurt her that he got away, but she eventually had to face the truth that she couldn't keep pretending for the rest of her life.
Their relationship lasted from 24th of February 2007 until the 24th of February 2009. She says in disbelief that she's been in a relationship on the phone with him for
that long. She would give every reason in the world not to see him.
She tells me she is always prays that she can be me, even just for a day, just to prove to him that everything between them was true, but that only happens in the movies.
(Wow, this is getting intense.)
maam, alam ko po galit na galit kayo sakin. pero sana po maintindihan niyo ko.. kung alam niyo lang po yung mga pinagdaanan ko pagdating sa pakikipagrelasyon sobrang hirap at sakit po kasi pinaglalaruan ako lage.. takot na takot na po akong ganun lage. reject ako lage.
maam maraming salamat po kasi dahil sa inyo naging masya ako ng 2 taon. kahit kunware lang ang lahat samin. maam sana po maging kaibigan kita..
eto po number ko kung gusto niyo po ko murahin o pagalitan pwede niyo ko twagan o itxt sa number nato. 09051234567
maam maraming salamt talga sa lahat lahat... Godbless you and sana po mapatawad niyo ko. Jane
|
She then says that she knows I am mad at her, but she hopes I understand her situation. If I only knew the things she goes through just to be in a relationship, I'd know that she was always played with. She is always scared to be rejected.
She starts ending the letter by thanking me for making her happy for two years even though it was just pretend for them. She hopes we can be friends.
Well, that was...
something else. I felt like I was writing a script for one of those advice shows... and
Jesus, that was deep tagalog. I actually had to ask some of my friends to help me with that.
My apologies go out to Jane. I'm sorry for posting this, but I felt the need to take this as a learning experience.
Never approve just anyone as a friend. They may not mean to do it, but they can steal your identity. People normally talk about 'identity theft' in the sense that it leads to fraud, so be careful with your online accounts.
Use your own pictures. You know, I checked out
Jane's profile, and she isn't bad looking! I don't understand how some girls feel the need to use someone else's photos. They just have to feel comfortable int their own skin. Confidence is key. And if someone doesn't like you because of your looks, to hell with them.
Don't fall in love with someone you've met over the internet. It can be your biggest pretend.
Well, this is all for now.
I just wanted to share this letter with you guys. Learn from it. I have to get back to doing more schoolwork. Until next time, kiddos!
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groggy
full
thirsty
okay
happy
amused
in love
silly
drained
optimistic
exhausted
sick
